Dear Sir,
When you pulled up in the parking lot, eating your banana, I was busy tying my shoes. You see, I was working up the energy to walk into the gym in front of all those people and just use the stupid machines already. Ahem. So, while tying and talking myself into the madness, I happened to watch you pull up in your very clean car, that has a street value of at least twice my crayon-colored, funky-smelling minivan. And I watched you throw your half-eaten banana onto the ground. TWO FEET FROM A TRASH CAN. I have to apologize for what happened next. I should have waited quietly in my car, you were nearly past it when I jumped out and asked you if you’d like me to pick up your banana. I should not have responded to your “But it’s biodegradable” comment, but I did anyway. You graciously conceded defeat when I mentioned how happy the bugs in the landfill will be, to feast upon this piece of organic treasure. Thank you for thanking me for picking up your trash.
Sincerely,
Definite Maybe
Filed under: Uncategorized
I had actually forgotten I had a blog. Thanks Jess for the link to myself! And then of course I had forgotten my password. It was like Junior High all over again and I couldn’t open my locker. Thankfully I didn’t have to admit this to the janitor and have to hear him sigh that I had done it AGAIN, and that perhaps I should write it down somewhere and carry it on my person, since it was a habit.
I won that darn iPod. It is great and it holds all of our music and contains enough space for us to spend several hundred dollars filling it. Or something.
And, my apologies to Melissa, in a previous post I said “reader” and that should have been “readers” to accommodate Melissa. There are two of you and I can hardly keep up!
I was recently “found” by someone that I couldn’t remember. I had to dig out the old yearbooks and find the source of “Hi, Definite, this is long-lost friend from high school!!!! How are you?” So I dug around and found this person and no, I still don’t remember her. BUT, it was great fun reading all those notes about “don’t change” and “have a great summer” and “you are my BEST friend” I, evidently, had a lot of those. I don’t remember that either.
Anyway, I took to perusing the pictures and I am just as in love with getting my picture taken now as I was then. Other than the school portrait, I avoided looking at the camera head-on. And then I found one that had me looking down, and writing on a notebook. With a teacher sitting right next to me. Now, you might NOT have recognized me, but the yearbook staff are nothing if they aren’t thorough. There was a caption. And it read: “Mrs. Math Teacher can be seen on campus many times when she comes to tutor students in math. Junior Definite Maybe works through a problem under the watchful eyes of Mrs. Math Teacher.”
Now I want this to be noted that I never made a secret of my inability to compute, HOWEVER, I have four yearbooks. There isn’t another picture of anyone else getting tutored in math preserved for all posterity. Were there no other shots of cute cheerleaders decorating the gym, or chess club kids competing, or ANYTHING ELSE? I know they wanted action shots of “learning” under the title “Math and Sciences.” But after school tutoring???
I’m a little ticked. And I thought all those people were my best friends? How could they betray me like that?
OK. I admit it. I have read, and re-read the first three books in the four-book series by Stephenie Meyer. Yes, vampires. Yes, teen romance. Yes, werewolves. Alright already!!! But they are lovely book candy and I can’t wait until the final book comes out. And, no, you can’t talk to me from the moment the book arrives until I have finished it. Because I will be mean and crabby and distracted. Although, if you are my kids, I am going to institute a firm “no” policy – whatever you ask me while I’m too distracted to pay attention, the answer is no. That should cover my mental vacation.
I also recently read her adult fiction (why is that when you put the word adult in front it feels like you have to qualify it as not rated X? Moving on.) The Host was good, a little tough to follow at first, but well worth hanging on until the end. I’m not sure if it was because if was 3 a.m. or if the writing was particularly moving, but I did cry. I imagine 3 a.m. had SOMETHING to do with that. But, if you like fantasy/sci-fi, it is a good read with excellent characters.
But no, I am not going to suggest any of these titles to my book club. These can be our little secret. You (hey Jess), me and the internet spammers.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I am unsuccessful. I have lost! Several times!
My parents are giving me advice (because they know all this lingo like sniping and stuff) – and I am being beaten by people who have, apparently, extensive knowledge but little visible experience (i.e. their rating is lower than mine – and that’s low, people).
I will prevail. Even if I get sores from sitting down here and waiting like an, um, sniper.
After the recent death of our iPod, I’m on the hunt. We don’t need the fancy touch screen, we just need a big hard drive to store our ridiculously long and complicated playlists. Because now the girls can’t find their dance practice music, or their “I-promise-I’ll-do-schoolwork-if-you-play-this-song” music. I am without my cleaning-jams. So of course, I can’t vacuum or dust, or anything! It is getting desperate around here. The silence (background silence, I mean) is deafening I tell you!
So excuse me while I go back and hit refresh. There is some inexperienced e-bayer on there who thinks they are going to win this one…
I realize that I left at least, um, two? people wondering how my eat more vegetables/get more gassy (did this affect my carbon foot-print?) diet went.
Drumroll, please.
I lost 12 pounds. Since then I’ve shed one or two more, but I’m happy with where I’m at – not looking to lose anymore. Although I’d like to firm up the ones I have…
Everyone knows that we need to eat more fruit and vegetables. Everyone knows how wonderful they are for you. No one talks about the ugly truth.
They make you gassy.
I am, hands-down, the fastest Adult Irish Dancer – I am jet-propelled!
I ate 33 servings of fruits and vegetables in seven days. I exercised everyday for at least 30 minutes. I drank 64 ounces of water a day. I lost 1/2 a pound. Grr. That means everyone in my well-meaning team has to pay $1.
In other news all those fruits, veggies, and water cut my cold in half. I was done in a record (for me) three days. Woot!
Today, while the snow falls, I am forcing my children to work. I am SOOOOO mean. But then, I am a mom. The ruiner of all things fun. The police that enforce this police state we call home sweet home. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.
